How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse: For Dummies
by DesertPaint
Summary: If someone throws a rock at you, what do you do? You catch it, duh. If someone throws a thousand ton boulder at you, what do you do? You run screaming in the other direction.


I sank into the black leather seat sighing, my eyes shut tight. Reynolds told me to stay on watch, but I couldn't resist relaxing in _this _car. I tapped the gas pedal absentmindedly, and stroked the wheel, unable to prevent myself from grinning. I recalled the last couple of days before we had _confiscated _the car. Car wasn't really the word I meant. Chariot of dreams. Breathtaking illusion of godliness. It was probably the only good thing that had happened since this whole mess began. The Mercedes-Benz SL-Class Roadster. _My_ Mercedes-Benz SL-Class Roadster. Lost in my pagan car-worshipping session, I didn't hear the shifting beside me. I pushed my sunglasses up the bridge of my nose and settled farther into the paradise otherwise known as leather. A thump jerked me out of my reverie and my eyes flicked open.

"No." I said, horrified at what was sitting in the seat next to me. The brat was up.

"Why are we still here?" Ella moaned, stretching like a cat in the sun.

"Reynolds went to go get some supplies from the store." I pointed at the deserted grocery store in front of us.

Ella squinted at the tinted windows then turned back towards me with a 'that's not a good enough reason' expression.

"I'm bored. We've been here for like, a hundred years." She drawled, and started to bounce at an annoyingly fast cadence.

I kept my face placid, trying to end the conversation. But she smirked slyly and kicked her feet out at the car, making an unpleasant 'thunk'. She continued to do this, as well as bounce, causing the car to shake. I gritted my teeth, but turned away. I had half a mind to chuck the kid out into the street and drive off, but Lani would be sure to murder me in a painful, most likely slow, way. So I kept my cool.

"Why do you keep calling him Reynolds? You like him or something?" She asked sounding pleased with this observation. I rolled my eyes but since she couldn't see me I twisted my head in her direction, "No, now would you shut up?"

She didn't retort, just thumbed a button above the air vent. An 'auto-tuned beyond repair' wail burst into life from the speakers. Ella pumped her tiny fist in the air and sang along flinchingly off-key, "I'm only gonna, break break, your break break, your heart!" I stared at her disbelief then punched the button and the pop rhythm was cut-off in mid screech. _How does the radio even work? _I wondered, cursing whatever higher power had saved Entertainment broadcasting.

"Hey!" She protested, "I was-" Then a sudden yell came from the store. We both turned toward the noise in unison.

"Wait here." I instructed her. Ella nodded, her face pale, cocky bravado gone. In a fluid motion I grabbed my shotgun and stepped onto the pavement. The intense heat blasted me in the face and I blinked, attempting in vain to clear the tears filling my eyes. I scanned the area. It was a big parking lot with only two other cars parked near the entrance. The doors were agape, with a hastily placed shopping cart on its side, holding them. The neon letters 'Smart Mart' framed the storefront overhead. Usually I didn't barrel into these kinds of situations but Reynolds needed help, fast. I cocked the shotgun and held it in a death-grip. The hot day was making sweat roll down my arms, causing the gun to slide around my hand. I placed my finger parallel to the trigger and headed inside.

I entered military style, scrutinizing every area before letting myself out in the open. I wanted to call Reynolds' name but my instinct for self-preservation was too strong. Then I heard loud footfalls coming from behind me. I whirled to face the threat and zeroed in on about a dozen figures racing toward me. Reynolds was at the front wildly waving his arms shouting at me.

"Shoot them! Sydney, NOW!" He roared. Walkers.

Adrenaline exploded into my veins and I sucked in a breath. With my heart battering itself against my rib cage, I lifted the barrel and aimed at the incoming mob. Only shots to the head would kill them…again. I had a shot; the front sight was lined directly at one of the walkers' heads. It was a blondie. Skin and muscle peeling back from her face, she snarled. Her eyes had a feral, starved look. For a brief second I wondered who she was; who she could have been. But it didn't matter; I pulled the trigger. A deafening boom thundered and the recoil slammed the butt of the gun into my shoulder. The girl dropped to the floor, lifeless as a rag doll.

One down eleven to go. I would never be able to kill them all before they reached me or Reynolds. The time it had taken for that one shot had almost closed the gap. Their guttural howls for our flesh my chest tighten in fear. But there was nowhere to hide.

"Go, I'll be right behind you! Start the car!" Reynolds yelled.

"Ok! Just don't get eaten!" I called back, and then ran for the door. The inhuman growls behind me sent my legs into overdrive. I rounded the door and skidded into the parking lot. I saw Ella cowering in her seat, eyes darting around until she caught sight of me. She unlocked the door and I launched myself into the cushiony seat. I yanked the visor down catching the keys as they fell. My hands shook as I tried to jam them into the ignition. I took a rattling breath and finally succeeded. I wrenched them to the right and the engine revved for a millisecond then died. If it wasn't for Ella's sake, I would've screamed. Why did I choose a **muscle car** of all the automobiles out there? I rammed the key to the side so hard I'm surprised it didn't snap off. The engine purred once again and I rested my hands on the wheel, twitching. Moment of truth….. VRRMMMMM! I crossed my chest and look up just in time to see Reynolds sprinting like the demons of Hell were hot on his heels. And, well, I guess they were. Two seconds after he emerged from 'Smart Mart'- I vowed to refer to it from now on as 'Shoot 'em up Mart'- the walkers tore out of the doors, knocking each other over in an attempt to catch up with Reynolds. He snagged the car door open and pitched himself in. He had just barely closed the door when the walkers threw themselves at car. They pounded at the windows shrieking and shoving. Ella screamed in terror as one of them pressed its face against the window, displayed its bared teeth. The car plowed through the throng of jumbled bodies as I stomped on the accelerator. I steered, and we neared the exit. The car drifted during the turn and again I internally slapped myself for wanting such a flashy car. We made it and sped away with the howling of the dead loud and clear behind us.


End file.
